How can a doula help me? Doesn't only the gestational carrier (GC) need one?

Most people think of doulas as support for the person who is giving birth.  And that is one type of doula - but there are many kinds of doulas. Antepartum doulas, postpartum doulas, sibling doulas, bereavement doulas, abortion doulas, and more. Doulas can also be a huge support to intended parents.

There are three ways a doula can help you as Intended Parents.

1. Preparing for the Birth

Doulas can help with preparing you, as Intended Parents, with what to expect at the birth. They can discuss with you and your gestational carrier what the options are and what everyone is comfortable with.

A few things you will want to discuss: 

·      When and where will you join the GC during labor?

·      Will you be an observer or have a more hands on role?

·      If medical issues arise how will information be shared and discussed?

·      If there is a c-section who will be in the operating room?

·      Who will hold baby first?

·      Who will cut the umbilical cord?

·      Who will do the first feeding and how will it be done?

·      What newborn procedures do you want done or delayed?

While preparing for the birth itself is important, a doula can also help Intended Parents with classes or information on newborn procedures, safe sleep habits, even inducing lactation if that is something you are interested in. They may also be able to help with medical information from an OB, midwife or other doula to help keep you informed during the pregnancy and help answer any questions you have.

2. Support during Labor and Delivery

One of the main benefits of a doula is their knowledge of the birthing process. Studies have shown that just having a doula present in the room during a birth improves the birth outcome.

A doula who is there for you as Intended Parents will make sure you understand what is happening in the birth. They can help you know what’s normal, help you with timeline, when it’s a good time to rest or eat, and when it’s time to stay close because baby will arrive soon.

Doulas are there as your guide and advocate. Having a doula there for you during labor and delivery allows you to be present in your experience without needing to worry if what you’re doing is right or wrong. They are your source for information (and sometimes a translator) when the medical staff aren't talking to you (because their priority is the birthing person). 

3. Postpartum Transitions

Once the baby is here, you will be learning to care for your baby. A postpartum doula can help you understand your new baby’s needs and make sure you are getting the care you need during this time of transition as well. This is especially important in the first weeks when everything is so new and intense. With a newborn it can be very difficult to find time to eat a meal or take a shower. A postpartum doula is there to cook a meal, hold the baby so you can rest or just to answer questions about soothing and settling baby down. They can assist with safe sleep practices and diapering. Overnight postpartum doulas will wake with your baby and either bring them to you for feeding or make them a bottle to feed so you can get much needed sleep. Well-rested parents are less likely to have postpartum mood disorders like depression or anxiety (yes, you can have those even if you didn't physically give birth). 

A doula is there to help you navigate this important time in your life. Most of us hire experts to guide us though important undertakings like buying a house or doing our taxes. Make sure you have birth and newborn professional by your side though this once in a lifetime experience. Check out our resources page for some Doula options. Ready to start your surrogacy journey as a gestational carrier fill out the intake form or as intended parents you are ready to get the process started in looking for a surrogate sign up for a free consult now.