5 Frequently Asked Questions About Surrogacy from Intended Parents
A surrogacy journey is an emotional process and can bring up a lot of questions. And while the internet is a great source of information, it’s not always accurate. Here are the top 5 questions we hear about surrogacy and the process from intended parents!
What is the wait time, and why is it so long?
There are a lot of pieces to this process...here is just a basic timeline. These are rough estimate timelines and can go faster or slower depending on so many variables. Without embryos created it likely will be 3-5 years before baby and with embryos 2-4 years.
· 6 months avg. for creating embryos, this depends on testing, donor egg or sperm needed, monthly cycles, and if creating embryos is successful.
· 12-18 months to wait to be matched with a surrogate. Why so long to wait you ask? There are just more people who need a surrogate than those who qualify to be a surrogate. Approximately 1 out of every 10 people who apply to be a surrogate actually qualify to move forward in the process.
· 6-9 months average from match to transfer. There are a lot of steps between match and transfer such as medical records review, physical screening of the surrogate, additional screening items requested by the clinic and legal contracts.
· 9 months of pregnancy before the birth of baby. [That’s the fun part of the wait!]
Even once the baby is born, escrow remains open for 6 months to 1 year as medical bills, pumping, and other pieces of this process are being wrapped up.
How do you know a surrogate won’t do drugs or drink alcohol?
In all honesty, you don’t. No one can watch her and control her every move. You have to trust that for her previous pregnancies she didn’t do drugs or drink (it would be noted in her medical records, which all great agencies gather before matching!), so why would she do it with your baby? Surrogates really want to do something amazing and with the goal of a baby they don’t want to put that dream at jeopardy; not to mention the legal and compensation ramifications. They also will be seeing an OB throughout this process and you should have access to the OB and their records and can address any concerns you may have.
Why pay for and use an agency vs. going independent?
The agency helps you manage the process from match until at least 6 months past the birth. An agency is there to help guide you and make sure you don’t make vital mistakes. Think of the agency like a party planner. They coordinate all of the pieces to allow you to enjoy the experience. The agency pre-screens the surrogate candidates, they have experience with the industry and the process, they can help coordinate and support other services such as escrow, legal and insurance.
When are payments made/money used?
This is a basic estimate and can vary depending on your surrogate and clinic. These numbers are also based on our agency and the process we typically follow. If you choose to go with a different agency, their process could be different.
MATCHED:
· Agency fee 1 – due once matched (when the clinic approves medical records): $20,000
· Escrow $6,850: This is set up and deposited once you are matched.
o $1,850 Escrow fee
o $5,000 Expense funds for surrogate like travel costs to the clinic (mileage, per diem, hotel), vitamins, RX from clinic, and other costs previous to contract
· Costs to clinic (and monitoring clinic) ~exact costs will have to come from your clinic as each clinic and process varies for screening for surrogate, ultrasounds, and bloodwork
LEGAL:
· Lawyers ~ estimated less than $10,000 total for IP and GC for Gestational Carrier Agreement (GCA) and PBO (Pre or Post Birth Order)
TRANSFER CYCLE (Legal complete):
· Agency fee 2 – Once GCA is signed: $15,000
· Pharmacy ~ estimated between $5,000-8,000 – All medications for the IVF/transfer cycle, this cost depends on which pharmacy and the medications your clinic chooses: This is paid once legal is complete and moving toward transfer.
· Costs to clinic (and monitoring clinic) ~exact costs will have to come from your clinic as each clinic and process varies for ultrasounds and bloodwork prior to transfer, confirmation of heartbeat 1 &2 and blood work after the clinic, and any other costs they bill for
· Fund escrow - Deposit once legal, GCA, is signed then you may have to deposit more closer to the birth. Typically $75,000-$100,000 as you will need to place 1.5 times the gestational carrier’s base compensation into escrow to begin. Escrow is where all of the payments for the GCA terms come out of according to the timing of your contract. Surrogate payments, especially the large base compensation payments, are divided up monthly and most of them do not start until the first heartbeat confirmation or later in the pregnancy.
HEARTBEAT CONFIRMATION:
· Agency Fee 3 – Once 1st heartbeat confirmation for baby happens.
· Add an additional $20,000 to escrow at heartbeat confirmation.
Then, depending on costs during the process, you may need to add additional funds to escrow closer to the birth of the baby. Your average total is $150,000-$200,000.
How do we know that she is not going to change her mind and want to keep the baby?
I know this is the horror story everyone worries about! However, this is not common, especially when working with a reputable agency and clinic that screens their surrogates well. Both will have screened the surrogate and have precautions in place to help those scary situations not happen. Part of the screening process for the surrogate is if she has given children up for adoption, if she has custody of her children, and if she is done building her family. These are all things that can help intended parents feel more reassured that the surrogate will not want to keep the baby. Most surrogates are done building their family, want to be pregnant again (because they love it!) but in no way want to add more children to their family. The goal is to help build another family! Surrogates see this as long-term babysitting/growing and then giving baby back. Is there a bond? Yes, of course, but it’s actually generally with the parents, and the gestational carrier knows from the beginning that this baby is not theirs and is going home with intended parents. When you take your kids to daycare or school, they love your kids and help them, but they go home with you. This is very similar. The surrogate also wants more than anything to see your joy holding that baby and for that baby to go home with you.
For a little more reassurance, it has been over 30 years since the surrogate industry sprang up in the United States. During this 30-year history, over 23,000 gestational surrogate births occurred through reliable and legal surrogacy agencies. However, only 26 gestational carriers changed their minds and wanted to keep the babies after pregnancy—the rate is only 0.1%. The surrogate contract strongly regulates the rights and custody of children.