Cons to Surrogacy
While we believe there are many positives and great things about surrogacy, it would be disingenuous to not admit there can be cons as well. Of course, some of the cons can also be pros for some people. However, for the purpose of this blog I am going to be a negative nelly and just talk about the cons.
The first one I would like to talk about is the cost of surrogacy and the amount of money needed for this process.
Money – Cost
While every journey is unique, a typical surrogacy journey (exclusive of creation of embryos) will cost somewhere between $150,000 and $200,000 (estimated as of 2024). That number should include clinic costs, agency fees, gestational carrier’s compensation and allowances, medical bills and attorney fees. It absolutely can be lower, but it can also be higher and the cost varies widely. The amount is based on a number of factors, including the possible need of an egg donor, if you’re expecting twins, and the circumstances of your surrogate. Our intended parent cost estimate worksheet gives you a ballpark estimate of what to expect. We’re well aware of the financial stress that intended parents possibly experienced before deciding to pursue surrogacy. We strive to keep our expenses in line and designed our program to minimize cost and stress as much as possible. We have no hidden fees. Our agency fee covers background checks and the pre-medical and psychological screenings. When you are in the matching process we can give you a far more accurate estimate of what you are looking at depending on the surrogate. We understand this cost is not inexpensive and there are no guarantees, which we will discuss next.
Could Not Work
Nothing in this process is 100% guaranteed. The odds are better than a natural pregnancy at 20-25%1 as most clinics average at 75% success rate and up depending on your clinic and embryo make up for IVF with a gestational carrier. Even genetic testing is only about 95-99% accurate depending on what testing is done, who does it and other factors. Creating embryos leaves a possibility that none are created. We all wish there was one piece of the process we could guarantee but there are so many pieces that is just not possible. We will absolutely keep working with you and do our very best to make the dream of a baby possible for as long as you want to keep going. This process can be emotional and take time, let’s talk about those next.
Emotional
We know this was not your first choice to build your family! Now you have to give up some control and trust another human to make your dreams come true. Not to mention all the variables and the chance you could spend all this money and it still not be successful in having a baby. You are working with another woman and her family, which adds another set of relationships and people to consider. We know you are coming into this with your own experience and perspectives. With surrogacy you now have to think about a surrogate with her own experiences, her perspectives and hope you all want the same things. Mental health is definitely something to consider in this process. Working with a mental health professional as you start this process and throughout is recommended. While previous experience and perspectives can be emotional, timeline can also contribute to already heightened emotions.
Timeline
There are a lot of pieces to this process...here is just a basic timeline. These are rough estimate timelines and can go faster or longer depending on so many variables. Without embryos created 3-5 years before baby and with embryos 2-4 years.
6 months avg. for creating embryos, this depends on testing, donor egg or sperm needed, monthly cycles, and if creating embryos is successful.
12-18 months to wait to be matched with a surrogate, why so long to wait you ask? There are just more people who need a surrogate than those who qualify to be a surrogate. Approximately 1 out of every 10 people who apply to be a surrogate actually qualify to be a surrogate.
6-9 moths average from match to transfer as there are a lot of steps between match and transfer such as medical records review, physical screening of the surrogate, additional screening items requested by the clinic and legal contracts
9 months of pregnancy before the birth of baby
Even once the baby is born escrow remains open for 6 months to 1 year as medical bills, pumping and other pieces of this process are being wrapped up.
Last but not least, I know is everyone’s favorite subject (said in my best sarcastic tone), insurance.
Insurance
This connects with cost as insurance is expensive, but so important. Approximately 50% of surrogate’s polices cover the surrogacy pregnancy and the other 50% do not. In the situations where it does not, this means you will need an ACA policy to cover the surrogacy pregnancy. Why would we be so specific about mentioning the surrogacy pregnancy? This is because all of the screening, medications and IVF process to even get to the pregnancy are not covered by insurance, unless you are part of a rare 1% that have insurance that covers. Our team refers to professionals that looks for health insurance that covers the surrogacy pregnancy. This means when the surrogate is about 10 weeks pregnant and released to her OB’s care till the birth her insurance can finally kick in. Regardless of whether you are using the surrogates policy or an ACA policy you will be paying up to a maximum out of pocket amount for the birth, and possibly a little more if you are spanning 2 insurance years and need to meet that maximum amount twice. Additionally, with an ACA policy intended parents are responsible for the monthly premiums, premium amount depends on time frame and policy chosen.
I know this blog was depressing and not very hopeful, but I promise it can be a wonderful journey. We always want to be open and transparent about a surrogacy journey and what it can entail. If you need a little pick me up after this, check out some of the surrogate’s stories we have. We are also here to help and willing to talk through these cons and what we can do to help or mitigate risk and costs. We truly want you to build your family in any way you see fit.