Managing a Relationship with IPs in Another State
Managing a relationship with intended parents in another state can present unique challenges but can also be incredibly rewarding. Here are ten tips for navigating this situation:
1. Clear Communication is the top trait to have. Establish open and transparent communication from the beginning. Discuss expectations, preferences, and boundaries regarding communication methods (phone calls, emails, video chats) and frequency.
2. Use Technology!!!!! It’s the 20th century, and we have technology at our fingertips every day. Leverage technology to stay connected despite the distance. Video calls, messaging apps, and shared online platforms can help you maintain regular contact and share updates throughout the surrogacy journey. If you plan to use online platforms like social media please make sure both parties are ok with the information that is being publicly shared.
3. Regular Updates: Keep the intended parents informed about the pregnancy by providing regular updates on prenatal appointments, ultrasounds, and any significant milestones or developments, they might not be there to watch your belly grow but getting regular updates can go along way.
4. Involvement in Medical Decisions: Discuss the intended parents' preferences regarding their involvement in medical decisions and appointments. Some may wish to attend prenatal appointments or be present during the birth, while others may prefer to receive updates remotely. Let all your medical team know that your intended parents may not be present and you will need to communicate with them.
5. Establish Boundaries: Respect each other's boundaries and privacy. Clarify expectations regarding involvement in each other's lives outside of the surrogacy journey and ensure that everyone feels comfortable with the level of interaction.
6. Plan Visits: If feasible, consider arranging visits for the intended parents to meet you in person and attend medical appointments or ultrasounds. Face-to-face interactions can strengthen your relationship and provide reassurance and support.
7. Involve the Agency: If you're working with a surrogacy agency, utilize their support and guidance to facilitate communication and resolve any issues that may arise. Agencies often have experience managing long-distance relationships between surrogates and intended parents and can offer valuable advice and resources.
8. Legal Considerations: Be aware of any legal requirements or implications associated with surrogacy across state lines. Ensure that you have a clear understanding of your rights and responsibilities as a surrogate and that the intended parents are informed about any legal procedures or documentation required in their state.
9. Cultural Sensitivity: Recognize and respect any cultural or geographical differences between you and the intended parents. Be open to learning about each other's backgrounds and perspectives, which can enrich your relationship and enhance your mutual understanding and respect.
10. Flexibility and Patience: Finally, be flexible and patient with each other as you navigate the challenges of managing a long-distance relationship during the surrogacy journey. Maintain empathy, understanding, and a willingness to adapt to each other's needs and circumstances.
So many other things might arise as every relationship is different and will evolve differently and organically. Take it day by day, and it will never hurt to ask questions. You chose an agency for a reason - utilize their resources! If you have any questions or want to hear our team’s own experiences please reach out.