I feel emotionally drawn to helping someone have a baby, but I don't qualify to become a surrogate. What other ways can I help someone become parents?

Want to become a surrogate but don’t qualify?

If you have a helping spirit and love pregnancy, you may feel drawn to wanting to help someone have the family they desire.  While feeling that way is a very admirable and selfless thing to do, being a gestational surrogate does have qualifications that not every individual will meet.  A prospective surrogate generally will need to be between the ages of 21 and 42, have carried at least one successful pregnancy to term, be raising their own child in their home, be financially stable, and also have a support system such as a supportive partner.

I still don’t meet the requirements; can I still be a gestational carrier for intended parents who will compromise?

That depends. Surrogacy requirements exist for a reason and are very important. These requirements are not typically set by the agency, these requirements are set from recommendations from doctors and surrogacy experts in the assisted reproduction field.  The requirements are set to assist in reducing risks and increasing the likelihood of a successful surrogacy journey and these requirements are necessary to protect the gestational carrier and the intended parents.

Of course, a surrogacy agency will appreciate and understand your desire to become a surrogate, it unfortunately cannot change the fact that you don’t qualify for a surrogacy journey, if you are deemed ineligible based on the basic requirements.  There are some surrogacy requirements that can be reviewed by a surrogacy professional based on personal circumstances.  The best way to find out if you can qualify to become a surrogate is to talk to a professional at the agency, that can review your information and qualifications with you.

Can I avoid an agency and still become a surrogate?

If you have applied with an agency and haven’t met the requirements through the agency, there is more than likely a considerable reason why you have been deemed ineligible.  You can overlook this and decide to avoid the agency entirely and choose an independent surrogacy path, but that doesn’t mean you will be able to have a successful journey.

If you find intended parents willing to work with you despite your circumstances, you still have to get clearance from the fertility clinic the intended parents are using or find a fertility clinic to work with you and they also have requirements.  The medical clinic you chose will have to screen you thoroughly to ensure you meet their qualifications.

If you even get through the clinic’s screening process, it can be really challenging doing an independent surrogacy journey.  Without the help of a surrogacy agency, you and the intended parents have to coordinate everything for legal and medical services.  Having a surrogacy agency’s assistance for the surrogacy planning, case management, counseling, support, and coordination is helpful in a surrogacy journey.  A surrogacy professional being a part of this process is such a benefit and attempting to do it without a professional agency involved can be a risk for all involved.

Change your circumstances preventing you from being a gestational carrier

If you don’t qualify because you are not currently financially stable, you could work toward the goal of stability in your finances in order to achieve the ability to qualify to be a gestational carrier.  Having this desire to help could fuel your ability to make changes in your life to become more financially stable.  If you aren’t qualified based on your BMI, knowing that you aren’t able to complete a journey based on your weight can fuel your desire to lose weight to help achieve the ability to become a gestational carrier.  Create a vision board and use that visualization tool to meet your goals in order to achieve your desire to become a surrogate.  You can also create a personal vision statement to help you manifest your goals and vision. 

If you do this and still do not qualify, how can you help?

You could consider other ways to help hopeful parents reach their desires by becoming an egg donor, uterus donor, or by bringing your professional skills to the assisted reproductive industry!

Eligibility requirements are different for egg donors, therefore even if you don’t qualify to become a gestational carrier, it doesn’t mean that you may not qualify to help through egg donation.  Another way you can help hopefuls to become parents would be by donating your uterus.  It can be possible to donate your uterus, but there are requirements just as there are with gestational surrogacy and egg donation.  Lastly, if you have professional skills that can be applied to the assisted reproductive industry in any way this can be your way of helping if you do not quality to be a gestational surrogate.

To get more information on whether you are eligible to be a gestational carrier, please reach out and speak to a surrogacy professional today.