How Intended Parents can Support Their Surrogate
One of the many reasons that IPs hire a surrogacy agency is to assist with supporting their surrogate. Of course, many IPs and Surrogates work together independently however it’s nice to have the support of an entire team when it comes to a surrogate pregnancy.
One of the first things IPs need to remember is that their surrogate has her own family to consider. Yes, she is helping them have a baby but she also has a child/ren of her own and therefore is often busy One of the first things that IPs need to remember is that a surrogate is often juggling her family and work-life along with meeting all the demands of a surrogacy. Hovering or micromanaging the surrogate’s time can not only be irritating but annoying and erode the relationship between IPs and their carrier. Making a “date night” or weekly check-in time helps manage these issues. For example, arranging to have a call on Thursday nights after the kids are in bed to catch up works well. Additional calls or texts would be expected after any appointments or unexpected issues that may arise. As important milestones a raise, such as an embryo transfer, major ultrasounds, or the birth, expectations for more texts or calls are normal.
During the 40 weeks of a pregnancy life still happens and it’s best for IPs to understand and be aware that life events do happen like weddings, deaths, graduations, vacations, birthdays, and holidays. It’s great if you want to help your surrogate celebrate or needs compassion depending on the situation. Cards, flowers, or gift cards to a favorite restaurant are always nice but not expected. Just being aware of what is going on in her life and sharing what is happening in yours goes a long way to building a trusting relationship.